The Illusion of 'Enough': Why Comparing Finances is a Happiness Trap
There’s a quiet epidemic spreading through our social feeds, one that’s far more insidious than any viral trend: the constant comparison of financial lives. Personally, I think this is one of the most under-discussed mental health crises of our time. We’re not just comparing salaries or savings; we’re measuring our self-worth against curated snapshots of other people’s lives. And as Alfred Chia, CEO of SingCapital, pointed out during a recent ST InvestMe panel, social media has warped our understanding of what ‘enough’ even means.
What makes this particularly fascinating is how platforms like Instagram and TikTok have turned financial milestones into a spectator sport. A trip to Europe? Must be rolling in cash. A new car? Clearly living the dream. But here’s the kicker: these are often illusions. What many people don’t realize is that behind every glossy vacation photo could be a mountain of debt or a meticulously staged facade. From my perspective, this isn’t just about money—it’s about the stories we tell ourselves about success and happiness.
The Personal Myth of ‘Enough’
One thing that immediately stands out is how deeply personal the concept of ‘enough’ truly is. Chia’s advice to calculate your ideal lifestyle and work backward is solid, but it’s easier said than done. If you take a step back and think about it, our financial goals are often shaped by external pressures rather than internal needs. For instance, someone might feel they need $5,000 a month in retirement because their neighbor does, even if their own priorities are simpler.
This raises a deeper question: Why do we let others define our financial benchmarks? In my opinion, it’s because we’re wired to seek validation. David Teo, a psychiatrist on the panel, hit the nail on the head when he said financial insecurity often stems from comparison. Even if you’re objectively well-off, seeing someone else’s perceived abundance can make you feel inadequate. What this really suggests is that financial contentment isn’t about hitting a number—it’s about aligning your spending with your values, not someone else’s.
The CPF Paradox: A Foundation or a Crutch?
A detail that I find especially interesting is the role of Singapore’s Central Provident Fund (CPF) in this narrative. Chia emphasized it as a risk-free foundation for financial planning, and I agree—to an extent. Maximizing CPF contributions, especially for retirement, is smart. But here’s where it gets tricky: relying solely on CPF can create a false sense of security.
If you’re self-employed or a high-income earner, topping up your CPF is a no-brainer for tax relief. However, what many people don’t realize is that CPF alone might not cover the lifestyle inflation we’re all subtly pressured to chase. For example, if your peers are upgrading to luxury condos while you’re sticking to HDB flats, the psychological gap can feel insurmountable. This isn’t to dismiss CPF’s importance, but rather to highlight that financial planning requires a balance between security and aspiration.
The Never-Ending Chase for More
During the Q&A, a 17-year-old attendee asked about building financial habits early. ST Invest editor Tan’s response—wishing he’d invested his hongbao money in CPF instead of spending it—was insightful. But what struck me was the underlying message: even from a young age, we’re conditioned to think about money as a race.
If you constantly feel the need to keep up, you’re not just chasing wealth—you’re chasing an ever-moving target. Teo’s observation that even after hitting $1 million, some people immediately aim for another $1 million, is a stark reminder of how comparison erodes happiness. In my opinion, this isn’t just a financial issue; it’s a cultural one. We’ve conflated net worth with self-worth, and that’s a recipe for perpetual dissatisfaction.
Investing in Yourself: The Ultimate ROI
Tan’s closing remark that the best investment isn’t in stocks or property but in yourself is something I wholeheartedly agree with. But let’s unpack that. Investing in yourself doesn’t just mean upskilling or starting a side hustle—it means cultivating financial mindfulness. What many people don’t realize is that financial literacy isn’t just about numbers; it’s about understanding your relationship with money.
For instance, the 4-3-2-1 rule Chia mentioned (40% loans, 30% expenses, 20% savings, 10% insurance) is a great framework, but it’s meaningless if you’re not honest about your spending habits. Personally, I think the real challenge is breaking free from the cycle of comparison. When you stop measuring your life against others’, you start seeing money as a tool, not a scoreboard.
Final Thoughts: Redefining Success
If there’s one takeaway from this discussion, it’s that financial happiness isn’t about hitting a magic number—it’s about redefining success on your own terms. From my perspective, the most liberating realization is that ‘enough’ isn’t a destination; it’s a mindset. Whether you’re topping up your CPF, building an emergency fund, or simply learning to say no to lifestyle inflation, the goal should be alignment, not comparison.
What this really suggests is that the financial literacy courses offered by ST InvestMe aren’t just about managing money—they’re about reclaiming your peace of mind. And in a world where social media constantly tells us we’re not enough, that might just be the most valuable investment of all.
